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What is the Circle of Security Parenting (COSP) course?

From the moment they are born our children are trying to tell us what they need. Their survival depends on it. How quickly we learn – feeding sound, tired look, playful arms, soiling face. Yet most of us miss the most common signals of them all – the attachment signals. 

COS-P teaches you how to read and respond to the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible attachment signals your child sends to you each day. Miss enough of them and your child will have no choice to try harder and harder and harder to get what is needed. We call these attempts “bad behaviour”, “whinging”, 

 Learn how to read and respond to the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible attachment signals your child sends you each day. These are your child’s instruction manual. 

How we cope

When we don’t know what it is that is distressing our children we need protect ourselves from the intensity either ignoring it (not noticing that there is a problem), or, by blaming. We can blame our children or we can blame ourselves

Blaming my child

Blaming myself

The problem is that as soon as we engage in blame we are no longer in a state of relationship. There are few stressors as strong as the stress of not feeling like you are in the yoke of a relationship. It only takes a look at your smart phone, or, an unannounced departure from the lounge room for your child’s attachment instinct to stir. Your child is not attention seeking – she is connection seeking.

When we are not in a state of relationship we have set the scene for power battles and they lead to these most bizarre parental strategies:

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Do you know any other mammal that raises its young using these inefficient strategies? It would be madness, a massive waste of energy.

Our Mission

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Sage Parenting is on a mission to rediscover our natural, efficient frameworks for raising children. Rather than teach, we offer courses that allow you to rediscover your instinct for parenting and that show you how to apply these in your modern-world lives. You’ll also build confidence knowing that you are probably already doing many of the things we will highlight. The research is clear – you do not have to be the “perfect parent” to raise psychologically healthy children. However, you do need to be “good enough” and we can show you how.

The Circle of Parenting course (COS-P) is an absolute gem of a course for any parent, parent-to-be or adult who interacts with children aged 0-8 years. It is world renowned and based on over 50 years of scientific research into attachment psychology and neuroscience. It will reintroduce you to your attachment instinct – the one that allows you to feel when you are being held within a safe and secure relationship.

It turns out that the way you interact with your children when they are feeling an emotion strongly influences the way they will deal with their emotions when they are an adult. This is a huge responsibility. Do you know what to do when your child expresses an emotional need? Most parents don’t. Even if they do respond appropriately they rarely know what it is they are doing to achieve this most important role of parenting.

If your circumstances allow it we highly recommend that you choose to do the course over eight 1.5 hour sessions. This is the original format of the course and allows for the optimal pace to absorb the material and apply it in your life between sessions. If you have no way of committing to an eight session course then you have the option of committing to a four session course. Each session is double in length – 3 hours per session. The exact same material is covered in both courses. The four session version does not allow for as much time to reflect and apply the theory in your life between sessions. The research indicates that it is this reflection time that leads to the most significant changes in your relationship to your child.